


Never Written A Love Song

by iknownamouse



Category: Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Both guys are oblivious, M/M, My rl possible girlfriend, Simon's mind, is this angst?, sorry - Freeform, why am i still tagging, yay me maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-08-19
Packaged: 2018-08-09 20:30:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,133
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7816096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iknownamouse/pseuds/iknownamouse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"“Your man worked his ass off and got some recognition,” Raphael said clustering close to Simon, plenty of room but still Simon felt his heat up against his entire side.<br/>Simon’s mind was really freaking out about was Raphael just said your man. Now Simon understood sexuality as something that did not need to be questioned, you like who you like and that’s that. But in Simon’s case, it’s you love who you love, and that who was Raphael."</i>
</p>
<p>There's no sex, just some delusional sexy thoughts in this story. Teen and Up, just to cover my ass.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Written A Love Song

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a story of two things that happened to me today, a friend is somehow not a friend and I was not sure where are relationship is going...so yeah -__- so confusion there.  
> Also, I love this song, it's a great song to sit alone on a couch in the dark watching cat videos...alone O-O yeeeeeeah.  
> My Saphael addiction as a one shot, with a weird rl events twisted to make a somewhat enjoyable story. Enjoy.
> 
> Not Beta's, all mistakes my own, unlike these characters. All comments are welcomed, be those compliment or critical criticism. Kudos if you like this short story, Thank you.

Simon heard Raphael enter into their apartment, he sat on the couch on his second movie, he was marathoning Lord of the Rings. He heard him rushing his shoes, off,  _ “Guess who just got a promotion?”  _ Simon looked at him as Raphael was standing in between the open kitchen area and living room, with a full faced smile on, dimples and all.

 

_ “Uh-judging by the look, I am guessing you. And if so”  _ Simon already has given space to Raphael, not knowing if he should stand or wait for him to approach,  _ “Congratulations Rapha, you’ve worked hard.”  _ Simon returns with a smile of his own.

 

_ “Damn right it’s me!”  _ Raphael came and sat down,  _ “Your man worked his ass off and got some recognition,”  _ Raphael said clustering close to Simon, plenty of room but still Simon felt his heat up against his entire side.

 

_ “You deserve it, just from the amount of work you have been doing.”  _ Raphael was an actual nine to five worker, at a design firm, where Simon just own a small shop that sold fandom memorabilia. But what Simon’s mind was really freaking out about was Raphael just said  _ your man.  _ Now Simon understood sexuality as something that did not need to be questioned, you like who you like and that’s that. But in Simon’s case, it’s you love who you love, and that  _ who _ was Raphael.

 

They had moved in together, as his previous roommate was Clary his best friend, who he is happy for and not at all jealous that she is in a very happy committed relationship with another one of his friends Izzy. He just thought  with them growing up together and being as close as they  were, something would blossom. That something soon and very quickly came onto him as familial love, he loved her like a sister and he would not change that for anything. She in a committed relationship and him very madly in a unrequited love with his roommate.

 

His attention is brought back to his recent situation, as Raphael has now laid his head onto his shoulder. Raphael, he found out soon after they moved in together, was not a very touchy feely kind of person like Simon or his other friends, but once he got to know a person. That is when Simon realized he is very hands on, like when he had his friend Magnus over, and they  seemed so close. Simon, albeit at the time very jealous had to excuse himself to his room, but soon found out Raphael and Magnus’ relationship was nothing like he had thought. They also had a familial love, and if he celebrated very much in his own bedroom by dancing wildly, no one has to know but him and his action figures collection.

 

_ “We should celebrate.”  _ he says to Raphael, as the other had his head on his shoulder and still very close to him on the couch.

 

_ “Yeah, what’s your suggestion?”  _ Raphael didn’t pick up his head, and Simon felt his breath tickling his shirt, as his primped hair moved a bit on his neck, he seemed to have moved possibly getting comfortable.

 

Simon thought, as he was planning to finally reveal his feeling for Raphael, he was thinking in the upcoming month. Since his previous attempts ended in his backing out and becoming the coward that he felt deep inside at times, well times of not having a man you fell in love with brutally reject you. That was another thing he was wary of, Raphael was blunt and yes he liked the reality to be put in front of him and given to him in a single dose. But, when the possibility of having your heart and soul crushed when you reveal your love to someone who has had your heart since the months after they move in. And they have been living together for a couple of years now, it’s a pain you have to very much prepare and prepare again for while ignoring the horrible aftereffects. He knows he’ll just have to get a new roommate, but no one can really replace Raphael.

 

_ “My band is playing at around eight tonight at the pub that Magnus owns, he said he got a lot of people asking about when our next gig would be.”  _ Simon thinks music in some ways is always the answer, possibly, maybe, not always but at times.

 

He feels Raphael picking up his head, and looks at him. Simon fidgeting a little, under his gorgeous brown eyes, and smiles his awkward smile and wants to take it back. Raphael at times is a bit antisocial, and he is too, but the suggestion may have been too forward.  _ “Yeah, that would be a good idea.”  _ Raphael says around a smile, and placing a hand on his knee.

 

Simon wants to keep the hand, possibly have it roam up his leg and somewhere else, he soon blushes at his forward thoughts,  _ “Yeah it’ll be fun.”  _ he says instead.

 

_ “Good,”  _ Raphael says getting up, not noticing the saddening look that flashes across Simon’s face,  _ “its a date, I’m going to call Magnus and inform him of the good news.”  _ he says as he disappears into his open door bedroom.

 

Two things go through Simon’s mind, first off he thinks at how critically he should take this date thing, since some people have said that as you know a  _ thing _ . So he sits there in front of his movie, not really paying attention. That literal date, which he’ll come back to, is something that needs advice. But is he the first one Raphael told about his promotion, was he even told before Magnus. Does that mean something, does any of this mean anything. He could be reading into things, things that possibly aren’t there. Which Simon does admit to himself, and only to himself, he has done so many times in the past. That and misunderstandings is his life. So first Raphael claims him by saying,  _ your man,  _ and now,  _ it’s a date _ , and he was the first to know about his promotion. I mean come on if they aren’t somehow together, he needs to tell Raphael not to fuck with a nerd’s heart the way he has. He turns off the movie, well pauses it then shuts off the blu-ray player, he isn’t trying to scratch his precious movie.

 

Simon sits there for a time, looking at something on the television, not wanting to stand just yet. He just doesn’t know what to really think of any of this. He’s been in a unreciprocated love for far too long that any little thing Raphael does towards him, his mind just goes everywhere. He texted Clary, her advice always tends to help, especially since Izzy and her know of his situation the minute they came to visit him. He didn’t know he was that obvious, but apparently he is, and Raphael the oblivious adonis in his eyes has yet to notice. Or he has since he clearly just called himself, Simon’s man and he said it was a date and..and Simon’s head hurt. He looks at the text, same as always,  _ Tell him your goddamn feelings and stop bothering us with your innerangst. See you tonight.  _ As he reads the text, he thinks Izzy may have taken Clary’s phone and texted him, because seriously  _ innerangst _ isn’t even a word. Yeah that is what he’s choosing to focus on instead of what they’ve told him now for the possible millionth time. He needs to actually listen, and tonight, he will.

 

He was never a deep minded person, and this just isn’t him, overthinking every little thing. Raphael made him breakfast, and suddenly he thought this was a new development, but then Raphael always makes him breakfast. Well he makes himself breakfast and there is just enough for the both of them to eat. They celebrate their birthdays together, yes their friends are there but at the end of the day they do end up at their apartment together, watching a movie. He sees Raphael partially clothed in multiple and different occasions, that should say something, well until he realized no it really doesn’t. So what Simon now knows he sleeps in simple boxers and no shirt, and yeah he forgets his clothing many times and has to walk from their shared bathroom in just a towel around his waist. They’ve even slept in the same bed multiple times, that has to say something, right? Great now he’s asking himself, and talking to yourself is fine and all but isn’t it a saying that when you start arguing with yourself, is when you should be worried.

 

_ “So what are you thinking of wearing?”  _ Raphael suddenly is beside him again on the comfy couch, they got off the side of the road together, after finding out that it did not have any bugs or infestations they have to worry about. He’s just as close as he was last time, and he feels the heat that he had objected to once he felt Raphael moving away.

 

_ “Izzy had done some shopping for me, since she told me the cute nerd is no longer a thing. Now it’s the hipster fab. Whatever that is, so I guess I’ll go with something I can move in, since I’ll be on stage and all.”  _ something that you would perhaps be able to easily take off me, when my whole  _ profess my love _ to you thing works out in the end. Think optimistically Simon, that’s the key!

 

_ “Oh when did she do that?”  _ Raphael asked, genuine curiosity on his face. He remembers he and Izzy have become fast friends surprisingly. He thought they would somehow dislike each other, or at the least avoid one another and then have a mutual head nod whenever they saw one another. But Simon now finds himself, having to listen to their back and forth spanish banter whenever they are around one another, and he doesn’t know how he feels about that.

 

_ “Oh last week, when Magnus was over talking about his new love interest in that exaggerated way of his.”  _ Simon laughs, because Magnus is a pretty interesting guy, at times hilarious and then at times you just wonder what the hell is going through this guy's mind.

 

Raphael hums his acknowledgement, and Simon wished he would speak instead, he loves the way he sounds. It’s this way of speaking, that if you don’t listen carefully, you think he’s bored of everything, but it’s so passionate and just music to his ears when he hears it.  _ “You know you’re watching some kids show right, unless you wanted to put it on that Qubo channel.”  _ Raphael says, and Simon finally looks at what he is looking and indeed it is a kids station, educational learning with music that makes him want to go to sleep.

 

_ “Uh-maybe that is what I’m into, maybe right before a gig I like to watch a kids channel and just take their melodic music into mind. O-or you know I was flipping through the channels and I just happened to stop on this. The world may never know.”  _ Simon flips through the channels, feeling his flustered state probing him to go into a rant.

 

_ “Quoting commercials now”  _ Raphael says teasingly.

 

_ “I was quoting a significant commercial, I mean how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll pop anyways!? Did you also know that it’s a biblical website as well? Who takes a memorable saying like that, from a simple animation of a kid asking an owl about an odd question about lollipops, into a biblical website. That must have been some board meeting, like hey guys heard of that saying ‘the world may never know’, well let’s turn it into the name of our site, and educate the world on knowing-you know what that actually makes sense. I’m not religious in the least, except for my forced upon Judaism, but no that makes sense. Nevermind.”  _ Simon turns back to the television.

 

_ “Uh okay, well I’m going to shower. Join me?”  _ Simon whips his head to Raphael so fast, he thinks he has whiplash, he open mouth stares at him with wide eyes, until Raphael smiles, then laugh softly,  _ “I’m teasing Si.”  _ Simon laughs awkwardly to cover up his shock.

 

As Raphael leaves, he sits there alone again, without his heat source and thinks of his own idiocy. Of course he’s just teasing him, I mean did he really think they would be nude together under some water, as he held up his weight penetrating him, while suds got everywhere...and this is dangerous line of thought. He shuts off the television and waits for his turn in the bathroom, he ends up making a snack for the both. They could both use one, their simple sandwiches but he can at least accomplish that. No point on embarrassing himself on an empty stomach.

 

Raphael gets out, and once again, Simon wipes his mouth for drool as he walks through the living room to his room, but stops as he spots the sandwich on the counter.  _ “I was feeling peckish.”  _ He hears Raphael says in the distance, as he watches a stray water droplet fall from his curled washed hair doesn his neck and onto his broad shoulder. Simon could and wish he really could, watch that water droplet dance it’s way down Raphael’s skin. He fixes his glasses, and focuses his eyes back to eating his own sandwich, giving Raphael a small smile.

 

_ “Yeah, me too. Lucky I like you, Simon Lewis doesn’t try his hand at making any kind of food for nothing.”  _ He says, around a bite, finishing off the sandwich and wishing he ate faster. At least the sandwich was a distraction.

 

_ “I would say the same but more than like, since I make you breakfast every morning, and not to forget ‘oh Raphael, I don’t wanna order out or move, can you make us dinner’, nights for years now.”  _ Raphael says, as he sits down, since he was standing and eating his snack.

 

_ “Yeah I do say that”  _ Simon laugh, this time not to awkwardly, since he’s trying to hide his reading into what you just said to me face. Which yes he is also surprised he has that face, but Raphael just said he more than likes him, more than fucking likes him!! This is a sign, a sign that he just may not be in a one sided relationship, in his own head, with Raphael.  _ “It’s just so much easier to exploit your cooking skills, then to use our hard earned money to eat out. Plus you have to admit, it is kind of your fault for fueling my addiction of your cooking, since you do it without me asking you twice.”  _ Simon says, as he places his plate in the sink, he misses the response Raphael gives him,  _ as I said I do more than just simply like you, mi amor. “You said something?” _

 

_ “Nope, just eating this sub-par snack.”  _ Raphael says in a tone, that Simon is not sure he heard of before, but then a teasing smile appears and he is sure it was probably a joking tone.

 

_ “Well, we cannot all be Raphael Santiago, if you don’t like it, I’ll eat it myself!”  _ Simon says in mock offense, going to grab the plate.

 

Raphael is fast and get’s up, plate in hand, moving back and his towel falls. Simon stands there, and does not whimper, no matter what the crazy people say, he did not whimper like a dog in heat. But he is not sure on what to do next, what his role is, as Raphael seems to be completely comfortable and continues eating his  _ sub-par  _ sandwich. Simon has been frozen, his heartbeat has stopped, his mind is completely blank, and he’s no longer sure he is alive.

 

Raphael looks at him, having finished the snack,  _ “Like what you see, mi amor.”  _ to which Simon raises his eyes to eye level instead of taking the view over and over again and burning it into his memory. He sees the teasing in Raphael’s face again.

 

_ “No shit, I mean I’m going to shower and get ready.”  _ Simon says, but doesn’t really move, until Raphael has come up to him, and places his plate it the sink, and Simon covertly inhales everything that is Raphael’s scent. He watches as he turns, picks up the towel and walks to his room without replacing it back onto his waist. If Simon shudders and makes another whimpering noise, no one is around to hear it.

 

\\\

As Raphael and Simon walk into Magnus’ pub, Raphael immediately crowded by their friend in a slew of congratulations. Simon waving and going to join his band mates, prepping as they go on in about half an hour. Coming up with the sequence, and having set up the night before is a bonus. They talk about the sequence, as he wants to make a different song as their second to last note, and finishing off with one that they all wrote together.

 

Raphael comes up beside him, and greets everyone, handing Simon a drink. He knows that he always takes one drink before he starts, not only for nerves but just to get any fidgeting out of the way before hand. Simon thanks him, and as much as he does not want to move as Raphael has his arm loose around his waist, he simply has to start. He gulps the whole whatever it is that Raphael brought him, hissing at the burn down his throat and, moves to position. Thanking Raphael again, as he sees a smile on the man of his heart’s face, he could watch that face all night and completely forget about what he was meant here to do. Raphael walks away, ending their eye contact and Simon’s delusional thought.

 

The show goes well, he has the crowd's attention. They’re only playing four song, but that still takes a lot of him, as it should. Then the second to last song comes on, and the mood becomes somber, attention of the patrons still high, as they probably were not expecting this.

 

_ “I’ve never written a love song”  _ Simon slowly rasps into the mic, pausing for the next note,  _ “that didn’t end in tears.”  _ He looks around and sees the majority of the crowd feeling the song, and Raphael and he makes eye contact, he holds it as he begins the next verse,  _ “maybe you'll rewrite my love song,”  _ he licks his lips, as he takes he strums the notes into his guitar, he sees Izzy and Clary looking at Raphael in his peripheral vision, but still hold eye contact with Raphael. _ “If you can replace my fears.”  _ He looks down, and rasps the rest of the verses, as he thinks he is getting a bit emotional. He finally gets to the last few lines,  _ “ This is my very first love song”  _ he looks up again, and Raphael is still looking to him. He’s at the bar, drink forgotten, “ _ that didn't end in tears”  _ Simon’s voice becomes slightly waved as he thinks of the rest, the last three lines.  _ “I think you re-wrote my love song,”  _ he breaths,  _ “For the rest of my years”  _ he takes his time before he whispers the last part into the mic. _ “I will love you for the rest of my life” _

 

Simon composes himself, and thanks the crowd, announcing the next and final song. It’s a ballad the band came up with, and it’s a good cleanser to how he feels, thinking of silent conversation he and Raphael had with the previous song. He puts his all into the last song, ending it in the high note he wanted. He thanks the crowd again and disconnects his amp before getting off stage and walking to his friends.

 

_ “That was amazing Sherman”  _ Magnus says, smiling widely, as he and Alec gets up, _ “Yeah it was a good show”  _ Alec says as they walk away, towards the bar, sharing a bar stool.

 

_ “Simon that was amazing, the best show I’ve witnessed, especially the third song!”  _ Clary says excitedly, as for some reason Izzy gets, up taking her hand,  _ “Yeah it was! You were on fire up there!”  _ and they walk away too.

 

Simon and Raphael is now sitting alone at the table, he moves to the booth, sitting next to the other man.  _ “So how did you like the show?”  _ Simon ask, finally facing Raphael.

 

Raphael doesn’t seem to answer and instead Simon feels him cradling his face, and leaning into him. His breath hitches as they lips meet, at first he is still but soon, gasp into the kiss as he feels Raphael’s hand on his hip, pulling him closer. His mouth soon is being explored, with Raphael’s heated tongue. Simon meets the intrusion with his own, feeling the two muscles meet and interact. He’s not sure, but he is positive where his hands are, just unsure he moaned into the kiss or not. He wants to deepen the kiss, but apparently Raphael has thought of that, as Simon is plastered to him, almost on his lap. Raphael slowly moving and disengaging, and Simon unabashedly chase after the lips that were finally his.  _ “Your voice is beautiful. I thought that song, translated the feelings I’ve had for you, since the moment we moved in together.”  _ Raphael’s voice is strained, as he speaks, breath tickling Simon’s slightly open lips.

 

Simon nods, not sure if he has a voice anymore, just yet.  _ “You’re telling me we could have been together since the time we moved in together! I feel at this time, that we are pretty oblivious idiots.”  _ He says as Raphael silences him again, claiming his lips, and slowly raising his hand under his shirt. _ “Do you want to start uhm-dating and-” _

 

_ “No, we’re doing more than dating. And my room is larger, so we’ll move your clothing there, but I know how you feel about your action figures, so we can take the time to move those.”  _ Raphael says, claiming his lips again.

 

_ “I love you. The statement alone just made me want to-” “Love you too, let’s get out of here”  _ Raphael says, before quickly pecking his lips and grabbing him to go home.

 

\\\

Finally arriving home, Simon feels like it that took forever, with varied looks from the people on the train while he was basically all on top of Raphael’s lap, they didn’t disengage until their stop came on. They could have been arrested for indecent behaviour, possibly, not like they were exposing themselves...well, it doesn’t count that Raphael’s erection was there, and Simon was grinding on it. They just did not explicitly expose themselves.

 

The door slams, and Simon has three seconds to get Raphael’s clothings off, since Raphael apparently has magic hands because how does a person already takes off a majority of someone’s clothing without them noticing. 

 

_ “Are we really doing this, like the whole s-s-”  _ Simon makes weird movements with his hands, almost slapping Raphael across the face,  _ “sorry!”  _ he finally pulls up all his gumption,  _ “sex, are we going to have sex!”  _ Simon yells it out through his flustered state.

 

_ “We don’t have to do anything we're not ready for.”  _ Raphael’s says, both shirtless with their boxers on, in Raphael’s room. He wraps his arms around Simon’s waist, pulling him closer. He kisses his lips softly,  _ “we can even lay down and just cuddle if that’s what you want.”  _ Raphael suggest, foreheads leaning on to one another.

 

Simon has wanted Raphael to notice him since they moved in together, with their feelings out and they are reciprocated he doesn’t know what to say. Simon wants to become intimate with Raphael, but he thinks about this realistically, and tomorrow is Saturday.  _ “C-can we just cuddle…”  _ he says, not sure if he will be kicked out of the room but preparing himself for that, just in case.

 

_ “Yeah, baby. Let’s do that.”  _ Raphael says in a whisper, kissing him tenderly helps Simon realize his fears were a bit stupid, why would two people who love each other  _ have _ to have sex after opening up about their feelings. Simon finds him smiling widely, as Raphael takes him to his bed, chest to chest as they twine their legs together. No space between them, mingling their breaths together. Sharing kisses, and spilling little details about the other, despite knowing as much as they have learned throughout the time they’ve lived together. Simon falls asleep on Raphael’s chest, listening to his heartbeat, the soothing humming of the song he had performed earlier in the night.


End file.
